It gets to a point where we don’t listen to the words anymore, we don’t listen, not because we are deaf orbecause we just want to ignore and listen to what we want to, we don’t listen because our minds can only focus on what we see, we see and feel the expressions our words affect a person and turn their worlds upside down, our worlds are turned upside down because of spoken words, sometimes misjudged, sometimes true, sometimes just out of pure anger. Thoughts and emotions tend to overpower you when that rush comes through your head and you get to say these things that if said to you, would burn down every firewall you have set up round your heart. With our words and our actions, we control everything that surrounds us, no matter how composed you seem to be, no matter how hard you try to keep it together, the fight to overcome that particulardemon that wants to be unleashed, that different part of you that you repress because of how you have grown as a person, that part of you, you seem to have taken control over, conquered a long time ago. Most times you get pushed, sometimes you get thrown over the edge, your thoughts run wild, nothing makes sense anymore, every thought going through your head feels like the right one, every thing you say feels like its coming out right, every expression you give feels like the perfect one, we are completely oblivious of how the other person feels at that point, we do no think of that, no we don’t, our minds completely block out everything else, our thoughts run back and forth looking for a place to burst through irrespective of who gets affected. That moment when you never really know or even care who gets affected, that moment where you get to hurt the ones who mean the most to you, the ones who you never want to see go, the ones who you never want to see hurt, that moment when your heart completely locks out everyone notbecause you want it to, it just does because you are no longer in control, our thoughts define who we are, our minds structure our thoughts, somehow these two things lose focus for a split second and then...... you snap. Then, the most dreadful part of it comes, where you have to feel that pain, you get to see it, as it affects the person on the receiving end, when it is someone you care deeply about, your mind realizes what you’ve done, and suddenly anything you say from then on is pure garbage,because for that one moment, you didn’t control yourself, you didn’t remember who mattered, you didn’tremember how far you have come, you didn’t remember how this person being affected means the world to you, you didn’t, you lost it, you snapped, you, not your thoughts or your mind, you as a person, you as a human being lost it. God help us conquer our demons.
